


Into the Darkness, I Will Go

by rxcrcfllptrs



Series: Tony Stark is Peter Parker's Dad — The Playlist [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Kid Peter Parker, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-03 22:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19473466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rxcrcfllptrs/pseuds/rxcrcfllptrs
Summary: In the wake of his captivity in Afghanistan, Tony realizes he left his entire world in Queens.





	1. how big my heart can give when i'm with you

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Chris Mann's "[To The Moon And Back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8WcKzvs5JI)".
> 
> This can be seen as a (not entirely timeline-accurate) prequel to my other fic, [All We've Got Is Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19304287), but it can also be read standalone. Any inaccuracies or errors are mine.
> 
> If you're struggling to find a face for this particular Ben, I fancasted him as [Kumail Nanjiani](https://ewedit.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/95923474823523h.jpg). :)

Sand. Dry. Bright.

Tony's eyes have a hard time adjusting from the dark, dripping caves — to water in his lungs, food that burns his tongue, to a scientist whose last will was to save a man who killed his family — to the bright outside world at midday. He nearly passes out when familiar hands grip his starved frame. "...ony? Tony! I'm here, I'm here, stay with us, man..."

The sun pierces through his vision, partially covered a dark obscuration. He squints, reaching up to Rhodey's face. "Rhodes..."

Daylight winks out of sight.

* * *

He has bouts of consciousness, sometimes. He remembers being being hurried to a cool surface, then being pulled under again.

_"So you're a man who has everything."_

There's a knife, but he feels nothing. There's a stab, then there's nothing. He might've been cut up and sliced to pieces and he doesn't even know it.

He drifts to honeyed shades of brown, sepia tones of old photographs and movies.

Rhodey's there, sometimes. Just talking during his bedside vigil. Tony doesn't understand a word he says, but it's soothing. If he had control of his limbs, he'd pat the hand Rhodey lays on his bedding.

Pepper's there. Happy's there. Familiar faces in and out, in and out like revolving doors.

Crisp childlike laughter echoes in his mind. Tony startles, waking up.

The room is devoid of other people when he sits up. He itches to get out of his room, so he does. He tears away the IV and limps off the bed. Every part of his body (and his chest, oh _god_ , his chest—) creaks and groans, and he doesn't get very far.

A nurse finds him collapsed in the hallway, hand clutching his arc reactor, muttering "Peter, Peter... Peter..."

_"And nothing."_

* * *

"What the hell, man?" is Rhodey's first greeting when Tony's strapped down on the hospital bed. There's a crease in his platypus' forehead, likely has been there for a while. "I leave to take care of some business, and the first thing you do is unplug yourself and collapse outside your room."

Tony scrunches his face. He'd cross his arms if they weren't strapped down. "I'm normally signed out AMA after, uh, how long have I been out?"

"Two weeks, Tones," Rhodey says with a pinched expression. "You've been out for two weeks, and you've only been awake for about 4 hours after that."

"That's still two weeks," Tony points out, brows raised. "I'm usually out after like, three days. You know this, honeybear."

He loves Rhodey so much, he really does, but if he has to stay in this damn bed for any longer than he needs to, he'll turn to stone. _And Peter, don't forget Peter_.

"Oh, I do," Rhodey grinds out. "Wish I didn't."

"What's the problem? I can hire a nurse and heal in my own bed," Tony says. "With better thread count and food and _general all-around security_ ," he says the last part pointedly, an eyebrow raised. Rhodey narrows his eyes.

"Oh, I'm well aware," Rhodey says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "But if I know you, I'm sure you'll be doing something ridiculous and get yourself hurt before you've even healed from your first injuries."

Tony makes a mock-offended noise, holding a palm to his arc reactor. Well, that's another thing he'll have to get used to. "Platypus, I'm offended!"

"What else is new?" Rhodey snorts, before crossing his arms. "What's got you wound up so badly that you'd rather run a marathon than stay in bed for a couple more days?"

There's a few seconds of pause, Tony opens and closes his mouth multiple times that he looks like a gaping fish.

"Do you have my tablet?"

* * *

"His name is Peter," Tony says by way of explanation.

The tablet is alight with several photos of a little boy with round brown eyes and curly hair. Rhodey doesn't say a word, instead flicking through all the photos with pursed lips. His browsing stops at a family photo, of a little baby held by a woman with green eyes and black hair, a man with glasses with a hand on her back.

"And who are these supposed to be?" he turns the tablet around to show Tony, who sighs.

"The woman is Peter's mom. The man is... her husband," he says, looking off to the side in avoidance.

"Tony," Rhodey says, tone pained. "You gotta give me more than that."

Tony licks his dried lips, taking a breath before continuing. "They were on break, okay? God knows I was probably intoxicated and she just wanted a night out. Richard's a nice guy, they just had some roadblocks on the way to matrimony to work through. One mistake leads to another, and then..." he waves his hands in the little space they have to move.

"So why are you claiming Peter now?" Rhodey asks, and Tony sucks in a sharp breath. "Don't need to say it if you feel like not saying it."

"His parents died in a plane crash," sound funnels to a fine point in his ears, and Rhodey's soft 'oh' feels far away. "He's being raised by his Aunt and Uncle now, and I..." Tony looks to the window, to a sunny day that feels criminal to how fucking awful he feels right now. "I haven't been a very good dad to him, lately."

"Oh, Tony," Rhodey starts, and Tony shakes his head.

"No, I know I was busy, but too busy to be a father to a human being I helped bring to this world?" he huffs, inordinately mad at himself, now that the facts are laid out on the table. "I'd be no better than _Howard_ ," he spits the name out derisively. "I'll best him at anything else, but I'd rather lose to him in the 'World's Worst Father' contest, Platypus," he says softly, closing his eyes and leaning his head back on the pillow.

There's a few seconds of silence, of contemplation. Then Rhodey powers the tablet off and puts it back in Tony's bag.

"Alright, what do you need?"

* * *

Rhodey's standing behind Tony, who is holding flowers while wearing some "lowkey" shades. ("They aren't lowkey if they have a name brand on them." "What? 50 dollar shades are _too_ lowkey.") Tony knocks on the door, best non-disingenuous media smile on while waiting for someone to open it.

The door creaks open, a bespectacled woman peering up at Tony. "Oh, Mr. Stark!"

"For the last time, May, it's Tony," Tony chides, kissing her cheeks. "This guy is Colonel James Rhodes, my best friend."

"Oh, right, right, sorry. Hard to remember when the last time we saw was when..." she says, hoping they would fill in the rest. Rhodey nods solemnly, while Tony thrusts the bouquet towards May.

"It's no problem. Actually, no, it is," Tony says, holding up a finger. May raises an unimpressed eyebrow, flowers in hand. "Which can be alleviated if you let us in?" he completes with a cheeky grin. She rolls her eyes and cracks the door wide open.

Once they're situated around the kitchen table, mugs of coffee in hand, Tony and May play catch-up. "So, how's Ben?"

"Ben's been doing great. He's been attending some parenting sessions and got a raise a couple of weeks back," she says, smiling at the thought of her husband. "But I have a feeling you aren't exactly here to exchange pleasantries about him, huh?"

Rhodey shoots Tony a look. _Ooh, busted._

 _Shut up_ , Tony rolls his eyes at him. "Wow, May, can't a guy care about other people for once?"

She snorts, stirring her coffee. "He can, but other people watch the news," she bows her head. "It must've been awful, going through all that."

The smile on Tony's face fades a little. He came here to meet his kid all over again, not talk about his trauma over bread and coffee. "It's life, what can you do?" he says instead. "All we can do is move forward. Futurist and all," he adds, tapping to his temple. "When's the little tyke coming home?"

She hums, checking the kitchen wall clock. "Ben should be coming around the school to pick him up in a few minutes. They'll be home in about 20, unless they take a detour for sandwiches, in which case it'll take about 30."

Tony nods, _shouldn't be too long, then_. He flashes a nervous but excited grin Rhodey's way, who just rolls his eyes. But he knows, deep down, Rhodey is excited to meet the kid, too.

* * *

"We're home!" a man calls out to the hallway, presumably Ben. 

"In here!" May calls out. They're sitting in the living room, mugs migrating to the coffee table, May on the armchair, Tony and Rhodey on the sofa.

"Aunt May, Aunt May, you're not gonna believe what happened at school today!" an excited little voice chatters with a slight lisp, and Tony's eyes widen. His heart leaps to his chest which is impressive, considering it's weighed down by an electromagnet at this current point in time. His grip tightens on the arm rest, _Peter's here_.

"I'd love to hear all about it, Petey-pie," she says, eyes warm as a little boy sheds his backpack haphazardly on the floor — Rhodey looks at Tony pointedly, mouthing ' _that's so you'_ — and runs up to his Aunt May. "Aren't you gonna say hi to our guests?"

Peter freezes up before turning on his heel, doe eyes wide with apprehension. "Hi," he says, starting to look down to the floor before his eyes come back up. He recognises Tony. "You're Mr. Stark," he says in awe.

"In the flesh," Tony grins, arms held apart. He's a little pained to know his son only knows him from his public persona, another thing to fix down the line.

"Why are you here?" Peter asks, which May chastises with "we don't ask people like that, Peter, that's rude". "Oh, I'm sorry," he says shyly. "I'm Peter," he sticks out a hand for Tony to shake and Tony just melts. He looks over at Rhodey, who's melting at little Peter's demeanor.

"I'm Tony," he says, taking Peter's little, little hand to shake. "And this is my friend James Rhodes. I call him Rhodey, and he's my best friend."

Peter's mouth rounds into an 'o', before offering his hand for Rhodey to shake as well. "Hi, I'm Peter."

"Pleased to meet you, Peter," Rhodey says, shaking his hand as well.

"May, you should've told me we're out of—... oh, hey, didn't know there was a party in here," Ben walks in, gloves off and hair mussed. "Hi Tony, long time no see!"

"Hey Ben," Tony nods, and he can see Peter looking between him and his Uncle Ben out of the corner of his eye. He can imagine what the kid's gonna ask soon, ' _you knew Mr. Stark and you didn't tell me?!_ ', or something along those lines. "Was busy for a couple months," he can hear a snort from Rhodey behind him. "Thought I'd take a house call."

Ben grins. "Doctors don't even do house calls anymore, and that's for ones with MDs."

"Good thing I don't have any MDs then," Tony snarks back with a smile. Ben shakes his head and crosses his arms. "Ben, this is my best friend, Rhodey. Rhodey, this is Ben, Richard's brother and Mary's brother-in-law," he introduces them by gesturing. Rhodey stands to shake Ben's hand before sitting back down. Peter's sitting in May's lap, chattering about his day to her.

Tony and Ben look at each other in the eye for a second, before Tony nods and sets his mouth to a grim line. "We may need to talk about some things."

* * *

"You want to claim parental rights to Peter? Now?" May asks, tone a bit strangled as her grip tightens on her mug's handle. This is what Tony was afraid of.

"May, please don't get it twisted," he holds a hand up, tone the same as the one he uses for soothing panicked investors. "I don't want to take Peter away from you guys. You did so much to raise him, and I don't want to sever that connection."

"I can hear the 'but' incoming," she sighs as Ben lays a reassuring hand over hers.

"But, being in captivity helped me see some things in a new light," Tony says, tone a bit broken. "I want to turn a new leaf, not the man people laud as the 'Merchant of Death'. That reputation very well may follow me to my grave," he pauses to frown, direly hoping it isn't the case. "But I want to become a man my son can be proud of," he looks out the backyard doors, where Peter and Rhodey are playing a game of catch. "The first step to that is actually being a dad to him."

Ben nods, understanding. "Life or death situations really have a way of making you confront what you want and crave for most in life."

"Exactly," Tony says, taking a drink of coffee. "Then and there, I realized: Peter. With startling clarity."

"I want to build him a world where he doesn't have to be afraid of war, of helping other people, of weapons that could take out entire families and villages," he blinks away a tear. "I want to make the world a better place, for him."

Ben nods, whistling low. "That's a big task you've set for yourself, Mr. Stark." Tony rolls his eyes, Ben only calls him that when he's spouting out his big futurist ideals. Often to poke fun, but he has a feeling it isn't that this time. "But I can't say it's not noble."

"Are you sure this isn't just a passing fascination, Tony?" May cuts in, ever the realist. "Being a parent isn't just picking up a child and putting them down when you have to do something else. They need love and attention, not just a person who can provide for their needs and wants to be entertained every other day," she says, eyes flinty as they narrow in on Tony.

"Now, now, May—" Ben starts.

"No, no, she's right," Tony says, nodding. "My reputation hasn't been the best leading up to this meeting, and I wish I'd known to clean up my act sooner," he closes his eyes and sees Yinsen's haunted ones when he says _My family is dead_. "But I realized, every moment I spend preparing to be the man Peter deserves to know are moments I waste not knowing him in return," he opens his eyes again. "I'd rather not waste any more time than I already have."

May is silent, contemplating his words.

"Well," Ben starts. "Know that you won't be alone, May and I will be with you for it every step of the way," he smiles, rubbing comforting circles on May's hand with his thumb. "Parenting... isn't easy, we're all gonna stumble and fall, we're gonna make mistakes, but I think raising and nurturing the innate goodness in Peter," he looks out to the backyard to his nephew. "I think it's worth it, don't you?"

Tony looks out the window, and truly sees Peter for what feels like the first time. With his bouncing brown curls, pure delight in his features as he makes a new friend. He remembers the awe and wonder in those brown eyes, wonders what topics and ideas get that curious mind running. He remembers the shy smile and oh-shucks demeanor, a humble and kind heart beating underneath it all. He remembers Mary and Richard, two wonderful people who had their entire lives ahead of them, that he owes them at least this much.

He's really just met Peter, but he loves his kid. With all his heart. To the moon and back. Even to his dying breath.

"Yes, I think he's worth the entire world."


	2. safe and sound for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Peter calls when Tony's busy with his other job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Hamilton's [Dear Theodosia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFmdCkz5vcA). It's also inspired by [this cute little moment](https://youtu.be/zarZ7QiV1rI?t=1360) in a recent Achievement Hunter video.
> 
> This can be seen as a sequel to the previous chapter, but I can see this fic branching out to multiple interpretations stemming from the same first point. In this universe, **Tony never came out as Iron Man** , rather Iron Man is branded a vigilante for corporate espionage and property destruction. In my head, I call it the " **Secret Iron** " timeline.
> 
> (Also, Tony made FRIDAY entirely to be a suit AI. JARVIS is still his all-around AI.)

"Boss, you're getting a call," FRIDAY alerts him as a well-aimed repulsor blast takes out a couple crates of missiles. He's a little way's away, but the explosion pushes him back a little.

"Who is it? Can it wait?" Tony says testily, calling up more towards mapping out the warehouse for hidden units. He's gone through two small ones that no one thinks to miss, with this one being the third for the night.

FRIDAY is silent for a few moments. "It's Young Boss, sir."

Tony bites his lip, "Okay. Mute external audio input module," the sounds of the outside world — of several guards running towards his position, easily avoidable with a bit more firepower — fade away, leaving him a little deaf. "Patch him in, and step on it," the power in his boots increase a little, giving him more leeway to scan the entire warehouse and avoid the guards until he positively has to encounter them.

 _"Daddy?"_ a little voice filters in, sweet and sleep-thick. Tony can't help but smile, HUD tracking all the giant sealed boxes of wood and metal, as well as document caches that might be of interest. He's mapped out about 75% of the place, and should really face those guards soon. He tries not to sigh, he really hoped this one wouldn't be guarded.

"Yes, Petey-pie?" he says, smiling at the sound of his baby boy. There's a group of guards up ahead, unthinkingly try to cut him off at a pass.

There's a little yawn that makes Tony's heart sigh, even as he turns around to face the guards, all holding laser rifles that shouldn't have even left his workshop yet. The Iron Man armor tilts its head, firing a localised EMP to disable the rifles.

 _"I love you,"_ Peter says, all yawn-y and sweet and Tony positively melts.

"Aw, bambino," he says, all while the guards take out their sidearms, little semi-auto pistols that wouldn't actually stand a chance against the armor. "I love you too," then he turns around, leaving the group to deal with the stun charge about to detonate at their feet.


End file.
